The Sufi Detective’s wife, Shahrezad the Storyteller, had just found her way into the staffroom of her posh all-girl school called The Rose of Shiraz when two young men accosted her; but before they could say a word, she was onto them:
"Men are not permitted inside here, gentlemen; I am surprised that our caretaker allowed you this far; would you please leave now!“... already on the phone to her husband.
“No, we shall not, Madame Nirumand; we are Revolutionary Guards; your husband, if that is who you are trying to ring, is already with us answering question as to some unauthorised dealings of his."
“Don’t make me laugh!” his wife retorted. “Whatever it is that you want from me, you’ll need to follow me into class; for I am running late; you may be able to identify yourselves there; for I shall insist on it."
Not waiting for a reply, Shahrezad grabbed a few books and strode past them towards her classroom, her students already waiting there.
The men had barely caught up with her as she entered. “Girls, we have some unusual and rather unexpected visitors; Revolutionary Guards, no less; I shall ask them to identify themselves and then you may greet them.”
Some girls, getting past their first shock and knowing their teacher for her brisk manner, were beginning to smile at the obviously discomfited men slowly pulling put their identity cards.
”Senior Revolutionary Guards, I see; girls; greet them, please!“
“Assalaaam aleikhim, Allah Abha,” in near-unison.
“What you need to ask me, you may ask me in front of this class; my girls will translate it into English, as I am their English teacher, likewise with my answers; go ahead, gentlemen.”
The obviously discomfited guards said nothing for a while, then finally: “You were seen as having mounted...”
“Miss, how do we translate that?”
“I was seen to have been straddling my husband, this gentleman claims, in the process of making love to him," her teacher explained. Turning to the young man: “When was that act of so-called deviant sexual intercourse detected, and who by?” - while translating, word for word, for her class.
“We are not at liberty to tell you; nor need we to.”
“Do these men want us to show them how to do it, here?” one of the girls asked her teacher, in English. “It can be done; their wish will be our command.”
“Let me translate,” her teacher suggested.
“Girls,” threatened one of the, by now, disconcerted Guards, “we have power to arrest you.”
“All of us here?” asked another girl, first in English then, in case the Guard did not understand, in Farsi.
“In that case,“ another, very tall girl asserted confidently, “you’ll have to take all of us here along; we’ll get some other girls to join, maybe a few teachers; eventually, our mothers will converge on your centre, on foot.”
“Meanwhile,” calmly commented her teacher, “would you like me to explain the background to your gentlemen’s assertion? I shall do it in English first, with the help of some of my brighter girls, then in Farsi, for your benefit. Let me concentrate.”
Then in Arabic, with both the girls and the Guards staring at her: “Did We not give pleasures and delights to those who have senses to perceive them? Did We not allow our Disciple to fend off those who wish to accuse his young wife of what she has not done, in order to dishonour our Prophet, Our Peace be on Him all his days? Surah The Gifts, verse 146.“
The teacher assured them, in Farsi: “Do you girls know the background?“
One arm was raised. “Rekha, tell us!”
“Ayesha, Miss, was the Prophet’s, Peace be upon Him, youngest wife,“ the girl confirmed, in English. "Someone accused her of having it off with a soldier while the Prophet, Peace be… is that correct, Miss?“
“Yes, but please tell the gentlemen in Farsi.”
“Was she to have mounted… is that the word, Miss?... that young soldier while they were about it?”
“Yes,. girls, it is the right word, in English, and it is what she was meant to have done, only the Book concluded it was slander.”
“How do we know that it is meant to be haram, Miss?”
“From a Hadith, Soraya, rendered by Umar bin Othman, that the Prophet, Peace be upon Him, commented that women ought not to assume positions of dominance over their men, but since Ayesha was not to be accused of any wrongdoing…” in Farsi… “by the way, gentlemen, are you accusing me of adultery?”
“No, by no means!” confirmed the thoroughly shocked older Guard.
“In that case could I suggest that you take your case to the Imam, our Resident Ayatollah (knowing that his particular worthiness the grandfather of one of her pupils, did not like the Guards overly much) and be so good and leave my class; or else I’ll have someone ring his office.“
The Guards turned, without saying a word, in time to hear this parting shot by several girls: “If you think you can get our teacher on her way home, we’ll follow her, all of us, and go home in a body; we’ll call out if you want to grab any of us, or our teacher."
Meanwhile, Sharezad had managed to get hold of Bahram as he had just been given his phone back. She told him: “Come back, please!“
She called the retreating Guards. “My husband wants to talk to you; so does your commander, on this my phone.“
The younger Guard, reluctantly, took the phone off her and listened, then agreed: “Yes, Commander,” after a considerable while had passed. “We’ll write a report when we get back… oh an apology... you’ll have to insist, Commander!”
“Could I have my phone back, please?“ enquired Shahrezad sweetly. “Will you tell me, was it slander that sent you here?”
“You could say so, Madam,” concluded the older Guard, by now clearly wanting to get away. He returned the phone and they left.
No comments:
Post a Comment